Dependence vs Freedom

I am reasonably sure people think of me as independent. Let me tell you right now, any persona I show on the outside as self-sufficient is a mask I wear. I'm not sure why I wear the mask. Only to say that I like feeling independent, even if it is a lie. Never has this interdependence been more clear to me than in the last couple of weeks. Just for example here is a list of things I can't live without.

1)My cat=affection
2)Coffee=comfort
3)High heal shoes=compensating factor for natural height
4)Roommate=Venting and support after a bad day
5)Friends=anything and everything they will let me extract from them (i.e. homework help, good conversation, a shoulder to cry on, a seat next to me at a movie, someone to bounce my odd theories off of etc)
6)A social job=stimulating conversation of viewpoints I wouldn't find anywhere else
7)Music=artistic expression
8)Air conditioning=a happy relationship with hot weather

I'm not sure if that list is ridiculous or normal, and if it is normal don't you think it's kind of pathetic? Why I like to lie to myself about my dependence is probably a problem. My dependence leads me to question my need for freedom. Why do people seek it? It seems that no matter how hard we try to have freedom it alludes us. Should I think of freedom as sin? Initially God created us to be dependent on Him then he even went a step farther and created interpersonal relationships. Both of these relationships were dependent, so is freedom itself a lie?

In the last 5 weeks I have been completely stressed out. Some of the stress has been good for me. It has stretched my ability and my knowledge of the world around me. On the other hand most of the stress is caused by my desire to be independent. Honestly I don't care about my imperfect editing, spelling, math ability, some of the over the top rules at work. But not caring is stemming from my desire to do my own thing and not caring about others. By caring about English, rules at work, spelling even *gasp* math I can show my concern for others. Through these stressful times I realize my mask of independence is only causing me grief.

A plus through these stresses is, I think, I am learning that God is my only true freedom. Without my dependence on Him, I have no freedom.